人生には上り坂、下り坂、そして、ま坂（まさか）の３つの坂があります。40代にもなると、それなりのまさかを様々に経験して来ましたが、つい6ヶ月程前、想定外の大きなまさかがやって来ました。
それは仕事で日本に一時帰国中の出来事。バンクーバーから到着した夜、翌日に仕事を控え早めに就寝した私は、朝の4時にトイレで目が覚めました。右眼に違和感を覚え、飛行機の長旅で眼が浮腫んでしまったかなぁと鏡を見た時です。私の右眼はバッチリ見開いたまま、瞬きが出来なくなっていました。舌にピリピリとした痺れもあり、ヒャーっと一気に眠気も覚め、少々パニック状態で夜間緊急診療に電話をしました。幾つかの病院に問い合わせても症状を話すと、どの科か判断出来ない対応出来ないと次々に断られ、５軒目くらいで運よく某大学病院の緊急診療で受付けて貰い、飛ぶ様な思いで向かいました。
夜間診察で右アゴの奥に全く気づいてなかった帯状疱疹が見つかり、翌朝一番で歯科口腔科→耳鼻科→眼科で再診察して貰った結果、「ラムゼイ・ハント症候群」（以下、RHS）という今までに耳にした事もない病名が下されました。
RHSとは水疱帯状疱疹によって生ずる顔面神経麻痺。体調不良や疲れ、ストレスなどで免疫力が低下している時に体内に残っている幼少期にかかった水疱瘡のウィルスが再活性化し、耳の神経に潜入して顔面神経麻痺を起こします。日本では顔面麻痺全体の約10%、年間10,000人程が発症する稀なものです。ちなみに麻痺はウィルスに感染した片面にしか起こりません。
顔面麻痺になると言うまさかは、当事者の自分でさえ最初ピンと来なかったけれど、メイクアップアーティストと言う「美」を仕事とする立場にありながら、顔が歪み動かなくなってしまった事に大きなショックと戸惑いが徐々に沸き起こって来ました。
現在は発症から6ヶ月が過ぎ、周りから気づかれない程回復しましたが、麻痺と言うのは不思議なもので、自分にしか感じない細かい症状が幾つもあります。顔面麻痺は、初期の薬物治療は最重要ステップですが、その後はセルフケアしか有効な治療方法はありません。何が効いて何がいけないのか、特殊な症状だけに情報がとても乏しいのが現実です。
特に女性で顔面麻痺を患うと、表に出れない人も沢山いるでしょう。このまま何事もなかったかの様に進んでも良いかもしれない、けれど、少しでも情報が少ない人の為に自分の経験が役に立たないだろうか。人として、メイクアップアーティストとして、誰かの何かの支えになれたらと言う小さな思いが芽生えて来ました。
顔は、単に生まれ持った外見だけでなく、心と体、そして思考で造られます。そして、人の持つ自然治癒力は最も優れた医者と薬となり得ます。今までも信じて来たことですが、より一層濃く、明確に、私に語りかけて来てくれています。奮闘記としてではなく、これから与えられた数々の驚くべきレッスンをCanadian Beautyのジャーナルに織り交ぜて綴って行きたいです。
注）これはRHSに対する専門的医療知識を提供するものではありせん。あくまでも個人的な経験を通して感じた事や学んだ事として参考にして頂ければ幸いです。
[ IN ENGLISH ]
Life is full of hills: uphill, downhill and the “unexpected” hill. Just when I thought I had enough of those hills for my 40s, I found myself upon another unexpected hill 6 months ago.
It happened soon after I arrived to Tokyo for a business trip. I woke up around 4am to go to the bathroom and noticed a bizarre sensation around my right eye. It felt as if it were puffy from the long flight. I literally froze in shock when I saw my reflection in the mirror. My right eye was wide open and it had stopped blinking. There was also a tingling feeling on my right tongue. I called the emergency medical line in a panic and stormed to the hospital.
The ER doctor found symptoms of shingles hidden behind my right chin when he inspected my throat and asked me to come back first thing in the morning for more thourough examinations. Doctors specializing in dental and oral surgery, otorhinolaryngology and ophthalmology all attended to me when I came back. After examination, they diagnosed me with “Ramsay Hunt Syndrome” (RHS), a condition that I have never heard of in my entire life.
RHS is a rare neurological condition characterized by the paralysis of facial nerves and a rash affecting the ear or mouth. It is caused by the varicella zoster virus (VZV), the same virus that causes chickenpox in children and shingles in adults. This virus stays dormant for years inside one’s body, but can be reactivated when one’s immune system is low due to stress, exhaustion, etc. The virus spreads to affect the facial nerve, causing the paralysis. 10% of all facial paralysis cases are RHS in Japan.
The whole situation was rather surreal to me at first, but as it unfolded it hit me hard especially being a makeup artist. Creating `beauty` has been my profession for almost two decades and it shook me to the core as I dealt with my paralysis. The right side of my face stopped moving completely and carried an uncomfortable, distorted look. I was in desparate shock.
It has been 6 months since my diagnosis. Although I am still on the road to complete recovery, most people do not seem to notice what has happened to my face. Paralysis is an interesting thing because even though others may not notice, there are a lot of small symptoms that I can feel and see. I want to stress to anyone who is may go through this that it is crucial to immediately take medications at the onset of the symptoms. After this, self-care is the most effective way for the healing process. The reality is that it is very hard to find out what works and what doesn`t work for RHS because there is little reliable information available.
Woman are most often judged by their physical appearances. It may be harder for women to accept the disorder/condition and come out of their shell once they suffered from the devastating effects of facial paralysis. I could easily be that person who hides the struggle and live a life as though nothing had happened. However, I decided that I was not going to be that person. Instead, I feel a strength is growing within me. I thought that maybe I can help someone in need by sharing my experience and knowledge so they can see the light at the end of their tunnel. I am a makeup artist, and I feel that with my skill I may be able to help women feel beautiful again. I don’t think anyone should suffer alone.
Your face is shaped, not only by what you are born with, but also by your mind and body. Interestingly enough, I have found that conscious thinking can change my face as well. All of these elements play into your beauty. Your natural self-healing abilities could work as powerfully as a great doctor or medicine when you are recovering from effects like facial paralysis. I would like to start sharing the important and tremendous lessons I have learnt from my own experience with RHS in my Canadian Beauty journals.
NOTE: This is not a professional recommendation on how to deal with RHS, rather it is my personal journey through this rare condition. Everyone can have different experience and I am happy to share mine.